Thursday, March 19, 2015

Foreign Sons in Twin Cities

About this time last week, my best friends' band was playing this local show at some hole in the wall place I had never heard of. The place wasn't much bigger than a small, poorly-lit karaoke bar with narrow hallways and a weird back room where the merch was being sold. Yet, circumstances rarely matter when I get to see my friends (who are more like my family) play their hearts out doing what they love.

Each time I hear their set it's like a roadtrip down memory lane. I think of the years in those practice spaces, song after song, just to produce these faithful ones. They unveiled a new track that night and I thought about their future and all the places they have yet to go, all the songs that have yet to be sung and all the lives they have yet to touch and change with their music.

Those feelings are what made me stick around and listen to the headliner, as a lot of that band's friends and family were present, too. With each song the crowd of 30 plus people grew tighter and tighter together creating this semi-circle around the band that added to the fact that they opted for the intimate setting of playing on the floor. Towards the end of the set, there were a handful of guys in the front who seemed highlighted above the rest. Probably, because they might as well have been singing into the microphone right along with the lead singer. They were zealous, but not in a selfish way. It was apparent their passion was a product of love.

A sign of respect.

A gift of belief.

The sight moved me and caused a single question to rise in my mind, especially as I noticed a couple of my friends standing in my peripheral...

What does it look like for us to celebrate one another? 

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Since then I have wondered why as a society we are so prone to elevate people who are famous or distant from us above the ones who are closest to us in proximity and heart. Why do we gloss over the aspirations and achievements of the human beings in our own house?  Why is it so hard to celebrate one another?

I have seen and experienced how bitter, afraid hearts carrying around hurt and unforgiveness can manifest anger, envy, hate, jealousy and shame. All of which cause disease and death in friendship, in family, in community. These attitudes and spirits have no place in right relationships.

In good relationships.

In healthy relationships.

Oh, but if we would just honor. I have been surrounded and swept up by what that simple word acted out in everyday life can do, too. It's about deep friendship and the kind of intimacy in community that that changed the world as we know it thousands of years ago. (Check out a crazy book called Acts in the Bible.) It looks like truly getting to know people and continuing to pursue knowledge of who they are, what they love and where they are going. Sure people change and their are seasons, but regardless of what stage of life you are in....aren't they worth fighting for?

If so, it's a matter of investing in people as they are-right here, right now- rather than who they used to/might  be. We can't take for granted what was always there and do the same old thing holding out for the same feelings of the past. It's time to do something new, press in! Or, honestly, just get out. This life is not all about you. And believe me I am preaching to myself, too.

During the show, I watched these guys pushing each other and jumping on one another's backs, passionately singing the lyrics with their friends. While the other onlookers held up phones or quietly sang to themselves. I sensed that these few up front were taking personally the words a single one of them had written, penned from his heart. They shouted them back with reckless abandon as if the words were their own. It made an unimpressive room stand still for a moment and I felt my heart begin to smile.

Something beautiful and inspiring was being revealed to me: community. This is what is looks like to push one another forward, this is what it is like to climb on each other's backs. Not just because it's fun, but because it does something to our souls. It moves us. It affirms who we are.

It's a picture that says, "We're in this together and this is how much I am for you. This is to what lengths I will believe in your dream. You're not pursuing your destiny alone, I am with you. I will not hinder you with my non-participation or my backstabbing tongue, but encourage and elevate you above myself whenever I get the chance."

Really, we can all learn a few lessons about pursuing authentic and duplicatable community from some more than dedicated fans at a small rock-n-roll show in Vegas:

Show up. This really is half the battle. Not out of obligation or some other wrongly motivated expectation. Simply wanting to support the people around you and share in their journey, is huge. Being present carries more weight than we realize. It doesn't mean standing around and being a lifeless body, taking up space a more genuine and enthusiastic person could fill.

It means connecting your heart to the hearts of those in your immediate sphere of influence-right in front of you. Choosing to see them, champion them and join them while you have the amazing opportunity of sharing the same space and time.

Sing other people's songs. We each have a song, a story to tell, it's time we shamelessly plug our friends in life. Because if we don't think they are awesome, if we are not inspired by their potential , then why are we with them? Why are wasting their time? Let's not selfishly take from the beauty of those around us. Let's not bleed others dry; let's feed and magnify who they are, by shouting their chorus together.

Let someone get on your back. As we grow with people, there comes a point where we are either keeping people mediocre (or worse keeping them under our foot) or creating a standard for ourselves in relationship that ultimately allows others to stand on our backs and springboard into their destinies. We allow them to thrive. We allow them to spur us on in the process as well. Supporting and serving someone else causes me to be better too. At the end of the day, it is in our best interest to give wholeheartedly of who we are.

Oh, to bear fruit and eat of it, too.




1 comment:

  1. So good!! I loved the story!! We need to celebrate each other like a family!!

    ReplyDelete