Monday, May 13, 2013

"Pressed Down, Shaken Together and Running Over"

I have been thinking a lot about the F-word these past couple weeks. I feel like being commited to missions causes it to pass through my mind multiple times in a day. And I am finally beginning to see how it can be (and is) a good thing.

Finances. Hasn't always been fun stuff for me, especially with $30,000 of school debt dragging behind me*. Even on good days there is this reminder that I still have so far to go. Being commited to missions now brings that to a whole other level. Every single day, for practically every single thing I am asking and relying on other people to give me. It is a super humbling experience, yes, but it is also has so much to do with trust.



Last month, those of us who have jumped into the Leadership Track this quarter read Loren Cunningham's "Daring to Live on the Edge: the Adventure of Faith and Finances." The founder of Youth with a Mission, himself, details story after story and miracle after miracle over the past few decades. It is crazy to realize how God has literally provided thousands, MILLIONS, of dollars-- seemingly out of nowhere at times. It goes beyond funding outreaches or pioneering bases, too. It's about walking in the fullness of what it means to follow Christ. It is about relinquishing control, laying down rights and choosing Jesus above everything else that makes sense in this world.

For me choosing Jesus looks like finding joy as I grow in patience. I have been here before; living this life commited to a YWAM base where everyone from the top down lives on monthly support. Which is a blessing to be under leadership who don't ask you to do anything that they haven't done. But this time around I am looking at least a year on my own without income that I can't win for myself. I don't get to physically provide for myself (and I don't live at home anymore, so there's no grace their either). On top of that, I have the understanding that being frustrated or stressed out by that is sin. I don't have a right to have a good job or a job at all. I don't have the right to choose how and when the money I need will come. It isn't right for me to put my faith for my current lifestyle or my hope for my future in Money.

Living off of monthly support as I do this Leadership Track, move into staff training next month and then staff the Awaken Disciple Training School from July-December is new and risky and terrifying at times. But it is right where I am supposed to be. It has taught me another facet of the joy of thanksgiving. I can be so grateful when there's $48.51 in my bank acount and I still need $300 dollars for rent. Because there is this tension, that puts the Lord on the spot and I know He is either going to provide or He is not. That same tension puts me on the spot as well. Because I am either going to trust Him or I am going to be faithless. I am  given the option to choose to remember all the times He has come through for me in the past or believe the enemy's lies and succumb to fear.

The Bible reminds us the the Lord cares for us more than birds and flowers, it beckons us to recall that God is not a man that He should lie. When He promises something it is fulfilled and when He sends a way is made. That is how God's economy works and I love it.

"The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him."-2 Chonicles 16:9

"'The silver is Mine and the gold is Mine,' declares the Lord of hosts."-Haggai 2:8

Even though the fig trees are all destroyed, and there is neither blossom left nor fruit, and through the olive crops all fail and the fieds lie barren even the flocks die in the fields and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will be happy in the God of my salvation."-Habbakuk 3:17-18

"Then He said to them, 'beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possesions.'"-Luke 12:15

No comfort is to be found in our finances. There will always be someone who is worse off and someone who is better off in comparison to me. Strength and steadfastness come from God alone. That's why I can praise him when PayPal notifies me about the $72.00 that just got donated. I get to fire myself from asking 'Why?' ..."God, you know I need $600 within the next two weeks. Why isn't it coming in? Why isn't there more? Why aren't the people I love supporting me? Why does it have to be a struggle again?" For those are entitlements, too. God is so much better that knowing!! He is ALWAYS faithful. He is forever good. Jesus really is so worth it.



*Some recent breakthrough that I am excited about is in the area of school loans. All this education on biblical finances has allowed to have a much clearer perspective on seeing these things the way God does. How being in debt really is being enslaved to whoever you owe money to. Whoa! I have been a slave! Thankfully, there is such freedom in seeing things the way God does. I used to think that I had to debt-free to commit to being debt-free. So dumb! I can commit that to the Lord now and then watch Him fight for me. He knows I can't dig myself out of the ditch and it is never His desire to leave me there. I wish I could have learned this earlier, but I am glad I did now. So stoked to see the way this miracle unfolds--Psalm 37.

To give a one-time or monthly support gift click the PayPal link (above right) or call the University of the Nations-Kona Donor Processing to donate directly (tax-deductable) to my Missions Account-#5951  at 808-326-4428. All fan mail and baked goods may be sent to:
75-5851 Kuakini Highway
#371
Kailua-Kona, Hawaii
96740-2199 USA