Justice

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I am drowning. I don't know what else to say. . . My heart feels broken for what God has recently laid there. The spheres of home and outreach have come so much closer together in one afternoon that they are now intersecting and some things are becoming one.
WOMEN
CHILDREN
SEX TRAFFICKING
Las Vegas and Cambodia. God's pursuing these vulnerable sons and daughters with compassionate victory. He's calling them. He wants them home.
My eyes have been open like never before to this part of God's heart laid bare. It is difficult not to reside in the pain he feels over these men and women. These children. Brothers and sisters tearing each other apart.
BUT there is HOPE. Jesus is the only answer to injustice. His return is this world's only remedy. His love is big enough to heal. His power sufficient to make everything new and purify it all. As his children gladly fight for each one shrouded in darkness, from an island oceans away. Crying out with the authority given us, proclaiming truth and light. Walking out forgiveness and acceptance and breakthrough everyday with our lives. Determined to bring it to the nations. Whether it be the nation of Las Vegas or the nation of Phnom Penh. Father says our family is not complete until everyone is home.


"You may choose to look the other way but you can never again say you did not know."-William Wilberforce

Revelation & Repentance

Last Tuesday, I had a revelation. That's what you're supposed to call it right? And of all places, it happened in the prayer room during my school's 1-3pm set. Nothing super strange about that. Except, that it was the first time that I REALLY did not want to be there. I was seriously contemplating every two minutes just walking out. I wasn't feeling it. I knew I wasn't giving God my all. The previous four days had been spent walking around with irritated, watery eyes from infected contacts. Without glasses, my compacity to see and focus had become pretty painful waiting for my eyes to heal up on their own. Adding to my optical issues, the beautiful mild Hawaiian temperature decided to drop one night and take my immune system with it. So, I was in prayer room half-blind, snotty, with obstructed breathing and a righteous headache. Sounds dramatic right? I was. I was ready to take my irritated body, distracted mind, and offended spirit right out of that god saturated room.

Instead, worship ended and intercession started and I ended up with a piece of red tape over my mouth with the letters L-I-F-E on it. For 10 minutes. Asking Jesus what this Life Tape was all about. Yea I heard our leaders Kaylea and Dave, explain the movement and the significance of standing in silent prayer on behalf of the voiceless. But I didn't want to pray about abortion again (we did that briefly the week before). And I didn't know how Jesus was going to make it personal to me. 10 minutes of silent praying. Submission. It's not always fun, but it's necessary. "Jesus, I want you to download your heart to me for this... but how am I supposed to breathe with tape over my mouth!"Envision tape over a child's mouth. A mode of breathing is cut off. Yes, they can't speak, but they're still living,growing in a mother's womb. Now, envision blockages beginning to form and constrict their nasal passages, too. Those blockages are your apathy. Those blockages are your wrong-thinking.

I learned in a very real way, that as followers of Jesus, our definintion of what it means to fight for life has to change. When we fight with anything other than the weapon of God's reality, we are destined to fail. The reality of God is love. We are to war with love, not worldly reason or ungodly anger. And when we determine not to fight, our silence suffocates as well. However, our definition of life has to change first. For 'abortion' to cease being a concept with no true reality attached. For it to no longer be an alternate reality that we accept and endure. Abortion has to be a baby. Actually, it has to be more than a baby, because apparently that doesn't work. Abortion must go from a baby to a fully developed child. And for that child to  grow into an adult. It must become a shining star* that a 'choice' could willing rip from our universe. In fact, 50,000 of our bright lights are snuffed out every year. Our definition should see that number as a whole nation annually sinking into the depths of the sea. And that nation as ours.

That's what Jesus told me. In 10 minutes. And then he said, see you were breathing.



* "Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life, then, on the day of Christ's return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless."- Philippians 2:15-16

Ask Me Anything

I'm supposed to be finishing this book called "Is That Really You, God?" by Loren Cunningham, founder of YWAM. It's part of an assignment due Monday. I'm about halfway through. As interesting as it is, I find myself distracted. By this blog post. Because I realize I have been waiting almost a month to write it. That probably does not make any sense, but it will.

Thursday afternoon I finally made it to the second chapter which has this really cute, simple story about Loren as a boy in the 1940s. He loses his family's milk money on his way to the store. He confesses to his mother when he gets home and her response is for them to pray. "Come, son, let's pray. We'll ask God to show us where that money is." The story goes: God told her that the five dollars was in a bush, it was, and they were able to feed the family that week. It's a short simple tale, but it's true. I thought to myself, "Why don't I ask God where stuff is?" Why freak out and drive myself nuts trying to do things in my own power or by trusting man. He's all-knowing, if we can depend on anyone for anything (big or small), it's surely him.

Now, somewhere between getting on the plane in Maui and arriving here on base July 5th, I managed to misplace my passport (among other important things). Yes, the whole time I have been here, I have been without identification and the one thing -besides a couple grand haha- I need to get me to Cambodia. By God's grace, not having it has not been stressful. More like an exteneded teaching moment, in trust and timing. I know that he wouldn't bring me all the way here and let a passport hold me back. So, I made phone calls, I told my leaders and asked for prayer from people back home (more lessons in vulnerability), I searched my room and my work duty high and low (Transportation Manager gives me access to the campus vehicles and the locked Lost & Found). After that, I knew I just had to wait. I also knew I had to be grateful for where I was and trust that God was going to give me a passport-old or new.

"Lord you know where that five-dollar bill is hiding. Now we ask You to show us. Speak to our minds, please, for You know that we need that money to feed the family this week." What do I need? Why don't I just ask? Simple enough, right? So, I offered a 10 second petition to Father and then went back to reading. An hour later, I was waiting for a friend to show up for our dinner date when I got a call. I didn't recognize the number and let it go to voicemail. My heartbeat kind of stuttered when I heard the lady's voice say, "This is Hawaiian Airlines regarding your passport..." What sweet joy and relief it was to return Nichole's call and confirm that it was in Honolulu! It was even more fulfilling to know that not only was the wait over, but prayers were answered. I had people to rejoice with! Over something that in someways is so small, but still significant. God really cared enough to see my need and show up for me in his timing. He cares about what we care about. So why don't we just ask?