my recent contemplations have resolved around this belief I have that i want to change
because I know it is not true.
the belief that I will wake up tomorrow.
I know that I have this belief based on how I live.
putting things off until the next day
assuming I have time
making plans for next week without first taking advantage of today.
I know that this belief is not factual
because there are people all over the world who were here yesterday
but have not life left in their bodies to say the same today
people like my uncle.
(people like my mom.)
taken suddenly
and we are surprised.
even i was in shock though I have been comtemplating this faulty belief
every day for over a month.
i want a different story
one where i wake up and live the most of my day
not hoping for something other than what i was given
but eager to walk through the minutes and hours
unfolding each new or normal opportunity with thanks
finding joy in the quiet
choosing joy in the chaos
accepting the joy of the unknown
appreciating and investing in the people before me
whether i have chosen them or not
taking risks with the hope that everything will work out
that it all will come together
and be intensely good,
each echo of my voice
every ounce of vulnerability
matters in the grand scheme of things
i know my limited mind cannot grasp.
i want to give back everything i am
give more of my all as seconds glide by
for we have all heard that precious saying,
that "tomorrow is not promised"
yet still bank on the rest of today.
what if we ran with what we were given?
what if we loved without fear and regret?
(and without fear of regret?)
what if we only looked back to strain forward?
what if we forgave so we all could go home?
what if we rested joyfully in our waiting?
and what if we decided with the miracle of our seeing the morning on our determination to do it...
to press go?
