The Sound of Battambang

The first 5 days in Battambong, Cambodia have been beautiful and amazing! The scenery is stunning, the weather is better than we thought, and the people are so kind and enthusiastic. The children are so outgoing and their faces are always full of smiles as they yell, "Hello! Hello!" This is our new home. At least for the next two and half months it is where our little family will work, play, and rest. And all because of the love of God! I don't think it gets much better than this.

Whether we bike around in the crazy traffic or give oral tests to young adults wanting to learn english or play games we have never heard of with orphans, we realize that God brought us here. He brought us here to do this. We were made exactly for the things we will be called to do. As we teach english classes every week day and work in different ministries-from cafes to street kids to at risk women- we must remember that He is the one who sent us. For me, there is this nervous excitement as our schedules start up soon. We are all going to different churches on Sundays, classes start this Monday, and some of us are committing to different ministries for the duration of our stay. I am not sure how everything will look, but I am eager to find out. I am ready to see what God is doing here and be a part of it. The Khmer people are young and hungry. It is said that to be Cambodian is to be Buddhist, but because of the Khmer Rouge most have no knowledge or understanding of the religion they claim. Oh, but Father wants relationship with them. He longs to love them like they have never been loved before. And I can't wait to witness His introducing them to real family, real light, and real life.

from the desk of

This is a little peak into my Disciple Training School journal from Week 7's speaker Matt Rawlins; processing his heart for The Fear of the Lord has really shifted my atmosphere...

Intrinsic Value: if you don't know what something or someone is worth you don't know how to treat it. Hello poverty, hello abortion, hello sex-trafficking, hello genocide. We obviously cannot understand what human life is worth without God's knowledge. He knows how much out bodies, minds, and souls cost. It cost him everything. Therefore, we are to honor ourselves and others with the same amount. But we can only do that by first giving ourselves to him. It's not possible without the strength of the Man who was pure enough to express how valuable the image we were created in is. This is why sin is essentially finding our value in anything else outside of God. Nothing can give us value or take it away. We must agree with what God has already spoken, live our lives like he is worthy and do whatever we want. So simple, yet there's still a struggle. Our souls don't have to be downcast though, because it's just the means and method of our growth. "Choosing life over death is a struggle," he said. Aligning our self with truth in a world full of lies isn't easy, but it's worth it.

The Impoverished Spirit- Part 1

Just a few thoughts as I'm reading James. A couple chapters in I realize, it hits on some reoccuring themes of the past week or so. Faith and poverty. I notice my perspective in these areas has shifted a lot. For months now money has been an issue. Being told I have to have $2500 by such-and-such date and not seeing anything come in. Having my bank account balance hover at $30 for 90 days. Then being faced with needing $4000 in a week or risk going home instead of Cambodia. All of that should probably cause me some fear and anxiety right? Yeah, a six months ago that mentality would have taken over. Yet, those deadlines came and went and I still need money.

God provided, for sure, and he still is. I did my part in keeping supporters informed and fundraising with my team (really just being obedient in whatever God has told me to do). Trusting him for my finances whether I was seeing them come in immediately or not. A lot of times support came from people I didn't expect it to come from and usually right after I bit the bullet and talked to someone I was nervous about talking to or did something I didn't feel like doing. (Which at times had nothing to do with support raising, but more on building character haha.) Sometimes I went into the finance office expecting to hear one thing and walked out wondering where $800 came from. One of my roommates asked me on deadline day why I never said anything about needing money. That she didn't know until my name was put on the board with 20 other names in need. I answered with, "It never came up." My other roommate followed up with asking what the procedure was the next day, if all the money didn't come in. God gave me grace enough to instinctively reply instead overthink, "The way I look at it is, that's above my paygrade." I explained that my job wasn't to worry about what I can't control, so I don't even go there. My job is to do everything in my power, guided by God's will and his is to show up after that. Which he has been doing and is continuing to even now. 

Since the 'deadline' I have seen over $3000 come in and even gained a monthly supporter as well. I received enough money that day to finally buy my ticket to Cambodia! Praise the Lord, I can check that off my list of things 'to do.' That afternoon, this guy who works on campus randomly came into my work duty to tell me that he and his family were praying for me. He also shared  a few things he felt the the Lord wanted him to emphasize and encourage me with. He said, "Don't give yourself a timeline." Basically, honor these deadlines the leaders are giving, but don't throw your emotions and faith into them because God will accomplish his will on his time. Sometimes he likes to wait until the last minute and it can really expose how much we do or don't rely on him. Really, what is $4000 to the God of the universe? (Reading Job gave me some insight into that.) Probably about the same as it would be to me if I was gazillionaire, right? The only one on the planet. I don't have to care about what is going to happen to me when that same God is the one who sent me here. My one-on-one Taren, has really helped me take hold of 1 Thessalonians 5:24: "The one who has called you is faithful and he will do it." Which reminds me of a quote my dad has always spurred me on with, "All you can do, is all you can do, and all you can do is enough." 

DTS and outreach and life in general, are not about me doing it. It's all about me doing it and God showing up. Sometimes he shows up in someone else's skin, by their hand holding mine. And sometimes he shows up in miraculously multiplied money that no man will ever be able to explain. Through it all and especially now with 13 days 'til Cambodia and $600 left to go, the arguments of fear and worry must subside. Let's face it I am not big enough, but that's okay because God always shows up.

P.S. And if you feel led to partner with me by sending support, call The University of the Nations finance office at 808-326-4461, donate ONLINE (email me at vjhawkin@gmail.com first for that information), or give via PayPal. But most of all, please continue to pray. Thanks!